Professor: Today we're learning some advanced words for talking about online social networking. Chloe is helping Matt build his MyFace page.
Matt: Thanks a lot for helping me build my MyFace profile, Chloe. I'm hoping that it will make me seem a lot cooler than I am in real life.
Chloe: Don't worry, Matt. By the time I'm done setting up your online profile, you will be the coolest, most popular guy who ever lived.
Matt: Awesome! So what should we do first?
Chloe: To start, we need a really cool profile picture. Do you have any pics of you doing something really exciting or funny?
Matt: Well .... I do have a great picture of me playing chess. Is that exciting enough?
Chloe: That's the most exciting picture you have? I can see I have a lot of work to do.
Professor: That's right. And did you notice how Chloe called the pictures "pics"? On the Internet, photographs are often called p-i-c-s, "pics".
噢，" pics" 就是照片。
Chloe: Alright. Next we need to set your status to say that you're in a relationship.
Matt: Wait a minute, I don't have a girlfriend.
Chloe: I know! But you see, Matt, women only want what they can't have. Being unavailable will only make you more attractive to them.
Matt: But what happens after a girl starts to like me? If I ask her out on a date when I have a girlfriend, she will think I'm a creep.
Chloe: Don't worry. Then you just change your status to "It's Complicated" and tell her that you're going through a painful breakup, and that you need someone to talk to.
Matt: Wow, you're really good at this stuff!
哇， Chloe还真是恋爱专家！她让Matt在网站上写自己有女朋友，这样反而更能获得女孩子的青睐! 因为女人总是越得不到的东西越想要!
Professor: Right! But what does she say he should do if a girl starts to like him?
她说，如果有女生看上Matt， Matt就要把感情状况"status"改成"It's complicated"，“一言难尽”! 然后告诉对方，自己正在和女友分手。这样一来，就能和对方约会啦!
Chloe: Alright, the next thing we have to do is get you a lot of friends. You should send everyone you have ever met a message inviting them to be your friend on MyFace.
Matt: But what if I haven't talked to them in years? Isn't that kind of weird?
Chloe: Matt, that's not the point! The important thing is that when people look at your MyFace page, they see how popular you are because you have at least 500 friends.
Matt: Five hundred friends? But I don't have 500 friends. In fact, I think it's impossible for anyone to have 500 friends.
Chloe: Well then, invite people you don't like to be your friends too. It doesn't matter.
Matt: Invite people I don't like to be my friends? Man, this social networking stuff is really weird.
Professor: That's right. Matt thinks this kind of social networking is really strange.
Chloe: Alright Matt, we're almost done. But there is one last important thing. Remember to post updates to your status every 15 minutes.
Matt: You mean every 15 minutes I should post an update about what I'm doing? What if I'm doing something really boring, like cleaning my apartment?
Chloe: It doesn't matter if you're doing something completely uninteresting. Post a message on your Web page so everyone knows what you're doing 24 hours per day.
Matt: Wow, this sounds like a lot of work. Maybe I don't really want a MyFace page.
Chloe: Oh yes you do! I want to add you to my list of friends. I'm almost to 700!
Chloe还让Matt随时随刻把生活中芝麻绿豆的事儿写在网上。我有些朋友就是这样的，哪怕是出门倒垃圾都要写在社交网站上，烦死人了！哎? Professor Bowman, 你干嘛呢？
Prof: ....What? Oh, yes! Winnie, (lower voice) I'm updating my Facebook status ....